3 Months Later...

Today marks 3 MONTHS since Violet arrived home!  She is doing amazing!  The quiet, clingy child that we met in China has quickly blossomed into her fun, noisy, stubborn, smart, independent self!  Her English is rapidly increasing; she's gone from saying single words to making phrases like, "I want shoes on!" or "There you go, all better."  or warning her siblings when she has to set her toy down with: "Violet's! No touch!".  But the best is when she randomly gives me a hug and says, "I love you!"  (Sounds more like "I yuv YOU" and she always shouts the last part!)

Take a look at some of our moments from this winter:

First BIG snow.  She could hardly walk, but didn't want to come in.

 

 

 

Promoted to Head Chef.

Gathering all the dolls she can find...and taking good care of them.

Lots of laughs playing peek-a-boo under the blanket.  She laughed at the "boo!", and I laughed at the static.

 

 

 

Happy Chinese New Year!

Let me remind you of the little girl we met 3 months ago:

It's ok baby girl!

It's really remarkable how quickly she adjusted, when you think about the HUGE changes that took place in her life.  I'm sure there will be days that we appreciate the training we received in dealing with potential emotional/psychological issues, but we haven't had to recall much of that yet!  It is so evident to us that this was a match made in heaven, and God has answered every prayer regarding her transitions to family life!

My Valentine

The only minor struggles have been caused by the frustration of not being able to communicate.  Sometimes it's because she doesn't want to take "no" for an answer (typical in ALL toddlers!) but other times it's simply because she doesn't understand the plan that we're trying to explain to her, or the reasons we can/can't do something.  This has made discipline a real challenge, because we want to teach her boundaries, but we don't want to punish her for those times when she genuinely doesn't understand, or to break the bonds & trust we are forming with her.  It can be complicated with any child, and is only compounded by the background of her first two years of life in an orphanage, and the cultural and communication issues, and everything being so new and different for her.... Lord, give us much wisdom in training our children!!

A meltdown on the kitchen floor, and daddy joins her and makes it all better.  Couldn't do this without him!!

An update on her skin condition:
If you've been following, you've probably heard something about Violet's "special need" (according to the way they categorize orphans in her home country, ANY imperfection whatsoever is labeled as "Special Needs").  She was born with a genetic skin condition called "Ichthyosis".  There are many varieties of it, and each can vary in severity.  It was a little overwhelming when we were researching it, but hers has turned out to be so MINOR!  We have been blessed beyond measure to be able to take care of this precious girl.  When we took her to the Pediatric Dermatologist and showed him what her skin looked like in China and how it looks now, he was blown away.  When we saw her for the first time, her entire torso/back was grey and peeling in huge flakes, sort of like a bad sunburn.  After using Aquaphor 3 times a day (and continuing to do that) her skin is clear, soft, and smooth.  He said, "Keep doing what you're doing!!" 

Then we learned that the makers of Aquaphor will provide their product for free to people diagnosed with her specific condition!  This is so helpful and so generous of them!! 

We praise the Lord for taking care of her & providing for her needs!!

Adoption Conference
In early February we heard about an adoption conference taking place not far from where we live, and one of the speakers was going to be Rev. Joshua Zhong, who is the founder and president of our adoption agency, CCAI.  It was really neat to meet him.  He is obviously so passionate about adoption and finding homes for these kids, as well as taking care of the orphans who are still waiting for a family.  Since opening CCAI over 20 years ago, they have helped find families for over 11,000 orphans!!  They are also ranked the #1 adoption agency in the world by China's central government.  We loved working with them and are so thankful for their role in helping us bring home our daughter!

Violet with Josh, who helped us get her home!

If you or anyone you know is even remotely interested in adopting from China, DON'T let the phrase "Special Needs" scare you away!  There are so many wonderful children available who are absolutely perfect in their own unique ways, and would flourish in a home with parents who would love and care for them!  Please feel free to contact me if you have ANY questions about the process of adoption.  I would love to share my knowledge & experience with you!  Even if it's just out of curiosity...or as a slight future possibility.  It's worth looking in to!

 

The rest of our trip... and HOME!

 

Wow, I don't even know where to begin!  This might be a long post, so feel free to just skim over it for the parts that interest you as I try to recap the past couple of weeks!

My last update was from our visit to the orphanage.  We spent the rest of the trip (in Zhengzhou, then flew to Guangzhou) hanging out at our hotel, going for walks around the city and parks, checking out the markets & shopping, and of course spending many hours filling out paperwork, riding in buses, and waiting in offices.  The latter ones were not the most fun with a toddler, but she was always content if she had a snack cup full of cereal!

Stickers & Coloring with Daddy at the hotel

Attracting a crowd during our walk after school

Waiting at the Clinic

Evening Stroll in Guangzhou

Street markets at night in Guangzhou

Interesting things at the street markets...

Walking around Liuhau Lake

Enjoying the warm walks in southern China!

Liuhau Lake Park views

Koi ponds at the park.  Some were longer than my arm!!

Famous Statue on Shamian Island

Chinese Walmart

Ducks...at Walmart.

Dinner Cruise on the Pearl River

Dinner Cruise Conversations

Canton Tower

Our hotel's pool...which Violet had NO interest in using!

Our view from our hotel in Guangzhou...not as nice at the hotel itself, but interesting...

Our family photo at the hotel.

Attempted photo of all our group's NEWLY ADOPTED KIDS!!! (I knew she would cry...)

Our CCAI guides in Zhengzhou, who helped us with the adoption!

By the end of our trip we were VERY ready to get back to our home and our kids, who were anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new little sister!  Unfortunately, beaming technology hasn't been mastered yet...and the only way to get home was to suffer through an entire day and night of vans and airplanes.  I wish I could tell you that it was a pleasant flight and that she slept most of the time...but honestly, it was the opposite.  My sanity was stretched to it's most extreme limits.  Let's just sum it up by saying we were "that family" with the crying kid.  During the first flight, over 11 hours, she wanted me to hold her AND be standing AND bouncing or walking.  If I tried to sit she screamed.  If I wasn't moving enough she screamed.  If I tried to give her to Curt she screamed louder.  The only times my arms got a break was when she was eating snacks...but after FIVE diaper changes (FOUR BEING THE MESSY KIND, and the other one soaking her clothes) we decided to lay off the snacks.  But in the end, we survived.  We made it home safely and that's all that matters!!

Our flights happened to have us connecting through Seattle, which worked out perfectly to introduce Violet to her Uncle Eric & Aunt Beth (my brother & sis-in-law) and one of my long-time friends, Saskia.  It was awesome to see them and share this special hour together on our way home!!  Saskia is a photographer and was snapping away with her camera as usual, which I didn't think much of during my red-eyed weariness, but when I saw the photos.... MY GOODNESS, SHE'S GIFTED!  What a blessing to have those moments captured!  The even bigger blessing was being able to catch up with the 3 of them as they spent their Thanksgiving morning at the airport just to see us!  Love you guys!

Hi Aunt Beth!!
  https://www.facebook.com/saskia.photography.seattle

Happy to take a break from the plane rides!!
  https://www.facebook.com/saskia.photography.seattle

Sizing up Uncle Eric
  https://www.facebook.com/saskia.photography.seattle

The second flight was "only" 4 hours long, and by then Violet was so tired she couldn't help but fall asleep, even though it was fitful, and only after a long time of crying because I couldn't stand up with her on this smaller plane.  She fell asleep on my lap, and woke up crying several times.  I didn't blame her...I desperately wanted to stretch out on a bed and get some real rest too!

We arrived in Detroit at 7pm on Thanksgiving Day.  The airport was empty.  We had already been through US Customs & Immigration in Seattle, so Violet was officially a US Citizen!  At the airport she met Grandma & Grandpa S., then Grandma & Grandpa V., Uncle Joel (my other little bro), and... EVIE and CORBIN!!  It was so sweet to see our kids' excitement.  They came running with huge grins, introduced themselves in Mandarin, and gave her hugs.  She was a little stunned, but happily amuzed.

Hugs from her new siblings

Welcome Home, Violet!

Now we've been home for 2 weeks, and I can't even remember life before Violet!  It seems like AGES ago that I was occupied with adoption paperwork, waiting for a match, and obsessively counting and crossing off dates on my calendar.  It was all worth it.  Big time.  She's doing so well.  She surprises me every day with something new.  Her big brother and sister love her to bits, and the feelings are mutual.  She fits so well into our family.

"Big Sister" Evie, "Big Brother" Corbin, and "Little Sister" Violet

You're going to love it here!

The hardest adjustment is turning out to be for ME- it's like having a newborn in the house again as far as sleeping (or lack of) and having my hands full because she wants me to carry her around.  It's also a big adjustment having three kids in the house now...we are definitely feeling out-numbered!!  As hard as it is, I'm so thankful for the 3 children the Lord has given us, and I don't go a day without counting my blessings!

 

One more thing...her "special need" on her medical file was a genetic skin condition.  When we got her, her skin on her torso looked just as we expected: grey, peeling, flaking, dry, and a little itchy.  I started putting Aquaphor on it several times a day, and within 3 days her skin looked completely new.  It still gets dry daily, but we keep putting the ointment on her and it's staying smooth.  Amazing answer to prayer!!

And now, as our adoption is complete and we are settling into our "normal" life (haha, right....), I want to thank you all once again for your love and support during this incredible journey.  We could not have done it without your prayers and encouragement.  God is good!!

The Orphanage Visit

The day after Violet was placed in our arms we had a busy day of driving around 2 cities, visiting 3 offices and 2 orphanages, over about a 10-hour span.  

First, we had to finalize the adoption and receive our official Adoption Certificate.  They require you to be her guardian for 24-hours before you make the final decision.  After that, no returns, exchanges, or refunds. :-)  Now she is OURS FOREVER!  

After the certificate was complete we went to the capital's notary office, then back to the hotel for lunch.  Then came the 2.5 hour van ride to Luoyang, her birth city.  It's required that you return to the city of their abandonment to apply for a Chinese Passport.  Finally, our last stop was at her orphanages.  This tall brown building is government-run and houses 700 orphans.  The smaller blue building behind it on the left is Maria's Big House of Hope, run by the Show Hope organization, and takes in the orphans who need special care and more one-on-one medical attention.  Violet spent her first year at Maria's, then was moved to the Institute for her second year.  

We weren't sure what the best plan would be during the orphanage visits, so we decided to just watch Violet's reactions and see what she could handle.  She was SO excited to see her nannies.  And the ladies were so happy to see her, they took her right from our arms before we could protest.  She was all smiles, even when they put her in her old crib to show us where she slept.  

It was very nice for us to see that she was happy and well-cared for during her time at the orphanage.  In fact, we are pretty sure she was spoiled by her nannies, because we have seen that she can throw a tantrum and whine like a pro if you don't carry her around with you everywhere!  We were told that a typical orphanage-reared child will not have learned to whine or cry because it will not get them a response from the nannies...not the case with our daughter!

They keep the kids bundled up like marshmallows for the winter (and it was only in the 50's outside!).  This is one of the ways they transport the infants to and from the play room and eating room, by wagon.  It was quite a sight to see how many puffy-clothed children they can fit in one ride!

I am not sure if they actually sleep 3 to a crib.  I was told Violet had her own crib, and I've heard that they often will sleep 2 babies to a crib, so maybe this was just easier to set them together when it's not sleep time.

When it was time to leave the institute and walk across to Maria's House, Violet had to be torn away from her nannies.  This was the most heart wrenching moment of our entire trip.  She obviously loved them and was comfortable with them, and when it was time to go back to her new parents she was NOT happy.  She cried hard for at least 20 minutes.  So did I.  So...we cut our visit to Maria's short and only looked at one room, where she had slept and played during her first year.  You can see she is still crying about leaving her nannies...but she soon got over it and thankfully didn't regress in her bonding with us.  We actually saw a lot of improvement over the next day as she warmed up to us even more and showed us her silly side.  :-)

We were able to meet several of the staff at Maria's, including the American directors and doctor.  They were AMAZING people- so compassionate and friendly and helpful.  We are so blessed that they were able to take care of Violet from birth until she healed enough to move on.

The next pic is of Violet's "orphan clothes" as I called them.  She had some layers on... and a well-worn pink dress that might have been chosen just for her special day.

With the donations that were given to us by friends and family before we left, we were able to go on a shopping-spree and buy clothes and supplies for the kids at the orphanage.  We filled a duffle bag, and stuck things in every spare inch of our suitcases.  I can't believe we managed to fly with ALL of these donations!!  

We also had a little bit of money left to buy several warm, puffy sweaters once we arrive in China, which we also donated.

I can't tell you how much this was appreciated!  What a blessing these items will be to Violet's friends, who are still waiting for a family.  Thank you so much for your compassion and generosity!!

After a long, 10-hour day, we were all exhausted and happy to get back to the hotel.  :-)  Although it was painful, I am glad we had the chance to see what Violet's life had looked like before she met us.  I know some day she will be curious to see the photos and hear the stories, and know that we are so grateful that her nannies could take such good care of her until we could bring her home.